Aug 8, 2006

Bribery, a Potty Training Story

"Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder." - George Washington

"We all have our price. Life is about bribes. Well, figuring out how to cheat in order to get the prizes," said Housemate Jen.

We're bribed in our careers with bonus structures for meeting sales goals. Sometimes our country brainwashes us with bribes (read the jaw-dropping Ice Cream and Cake story from a Cuban primary school). In Congress, bribery is always the new black. I will but mention what a musician must do to get a spin on our public airwaves, and in international journalism circles the practice even has a new name: gombo.

Maybe it all begins with potty training. A three year old girl I know has been through the process and learned a thing or two about bucking the system. A few weeks ago her parents told her she would receive candy if she could keep her pull-ups dry through the night. The wheels began to turn.

She commenced to waking up early, taking off her damp pull-up, putting on a new dry one, and hiding the soiled evidence. Her parents were none-the-wiser and she was on candy-filled easy street. Until. Her secret started to stink and she became the perfect metaphor.

3 comments:

Barbara said...

It would appear that hiding the evidence begins at a very young age. There are times, however, when I wish my storm-crazed dog could just hide the evidence. I came down yesterday morning after the lightening and thunder in the middle of the night to find overturned bicycles and all manner of pee and poop. It would have been much nicer to just discover a pair of damp pull-ups in the corner.

Anonymous said...

What a devious little 3 year old!

wharman said...

Barbara - oh no! That does sound much more destructive! I wonder why so many dogs are afraid of thunder. Maybe they know something we don't.

Anonymous - she appears to be very smart! Although I also know her to be quite sweet, I didn't know she had such a sweet tooth.