So I lied. I did wear a shoe other than the flip flop this weekend. Result? Deep deep wounds. The kind that will inevitably leave remnants throughout winter. I've always felt insecure about my feet. I began ballet classes when I was very small, probably started with the pointe shoes too soon. I like to use these excuses, but I think I'd have ugly feet regardless of the dance classes I took. At about age 8 I was at a friend's house towelling off after we had been playing in her pool. I was just standing there with the towel wrapped around me when she shouted, "Stop doing that with your feet! Put them back together!"
I had no idea what she was talking about. I was just being me. When I looked down to where her gaze was focused, however, I saw it. My big toe was almost a whole inch away from the other guys down there, and twice as large. For me, this was a natural state, but seeing it through another person's eyes for the first time I was mortified.
The same friend had a pet iguana I was quite afraid of. Not 12 minutes after this embarrassing encounter, I was standing in her room when she THREW HIM ON MY BACK. Incidentally, I've been afraid of most reptiles since this moment as well.
When I Was about 14, I won an award at my church for "Best Feet." It did not help.